American Optimagicians Will TriumphS

The Way We Live Now: Optimagically. We choose to believe that good times are ahead despite plain evidence to the contrary. As long as someone somewhere can bail someone else out, it's luxury condos and Bergdorf Goodman for us.

First in line for the smiley-face optimagic award: Luxury retailers! They are absolutely the most smiling optimistic people you will ever trip over on the bread line. It's almost Fashion Week and luxury sales are expected to be through the roof. Fashionistas have had enough of the "suffering" thing.

And there is no more optimagic place than Manhattan, Diamond Queen of all the New York boroughs! While people in the outer boroughs tend to spend their paltry wages at Target, Manhattanites prefer shopping at Bergdorf's. It's just nice. As well as more expensive, which is helpful when it comes to disposing of pesky money.

There'll always be more! We are just spending on any old thing these days. The average American spends a thousand bucks a year on internet services and phone services and video game services and all types of services that are not doing one thing called "making you money." But that's okay! The mark of a civilized society is that that society can, even in times of great economic peril, spare no expense on hardware that allows us to communicate with our virtual commando team while playing war simulation games on the internet.

Shit, even Greece is gonna get a bailout. Greece. We're Americans, damn it. We have nothing to worry about.
[Pic via]