MTV will milk this Teen Mom gravy train for all its worth. And we will watch Every. Damn. Minute. The special mostly showed non-baby related issues like life-threatening illness, divorce, and baby-scares. Nothing ever goes right on this show.
Usually Teen Mom was about the day-to-day lives of being a mother, a partner, and a daughter. What MTV left out of the show, however, was all the other things going on in these mother's lives that had a profound effect, but didn't really fit into what MTV wanted as a narrative. Amber didn't just have to deal with a lazy boyfriend, she also had to deal with a dying father. Farrah didn't just deal with loneliness, she had to deal with an impending divorce. And in the biggest shocker of all, Ryan had moments where he he was a thoughtful boyfriend that almost did the right thing instead of just being an apathetic asshole.
The funniest clip of the night came when Amber had to buy another wedding ring, since she lost the one that Gary bought for her. So she takes a break from Gary while they're shopping at K-Mart to buy herself a stunning ring...at K-Mart. I know she doesn't have a lot of disposable income, but it just doesn't seem right to carry your wedding ring that you bought for yourself in a plastic bag.
And if that wasn't enough, she forces Gary to re-propose to her in a pool hall. So Gary—trooper that he is—balanced himself on the corner pocket and busted out that $29.99 ring and proposed. It may sound trashy (it was), but it was also kind of sweet; until you think about them fighting non-stop in every other episode.
Farrah's clips were without a doubt the saddest of the night. Throughout the show, Farrah was painted as a selfish, unaware, and immature girl. And for the most part, she is. But in one scene she goes from a snappy smart-ass to an understanding and emotional girl when her father starts crying about his divorce. I don't see why MTV cut this from the show, as they left us in the dark about the divorce the whole time and it was probably a big contributing factor to Farrah's motivations and actions throughout the season.
The biggest surprise of the night came from Maci's boyfriend Ryan. In a scene where he was discussing his relationship with Maci, he was the most mature person at the table. Let me repeat that: Ryan was put in a situation where he was more mature than someone else. That says a lot for his friends, who most likely ride around in either a lifted Jeep Grand Cherokee or a lowered Dodge Neon and yell "faggot" to people on the street from their car and laugh maniacally while chugging Red Bulls. Ryan's son, Bentley, was more mature in that scene than these two mopes, and he was putting lettuce on his head and pooping himself. But it was nice to see that Ryan wasn't a thoughtless, lazy, waste of space for at least one minute.
And of course, there were pregnancy scares. Catelynn had a stomach ache, and for someone who was pregnant before, the first thought is that another baby is on the way. Luckily, it turned out that she drank too much milk and RC Cola, because it was just kidney stones. Phew! Kidney babies are much easier to deal with than regular babies.
So that's it for Teen Mom (we think). Next up is season two of 16 and Pregnant, which brings a whole new batch of irresponsible girls and boys who think that a condom is merely a bothersome, desensitizing recommendation. And if it can even hold a candle to how brilliant Teen Mom was, we'll be satiated.