JFK's Cheating Love Letters: The Modern TranslationS

John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline in 1953, but he was also creeping with many international beauties—including Sweden's Gunilla von Post, who's now auctioning off her love letters from the horndog president-to-be. He's lucky there was no internet back then.

JFK: "It now appears as though I shall be coming to Europe at the end of August. Will you be busy – or might it be possible to meet. What are you doing now. Will you stay there for the summer – or will you return to Cagnes. I thought I might get a boat and sail around the Mediterranean for two weeks – with you as crew. What do you think?"
Modern translation: "Gurl U no we met on the internet but gurl U no I want U in real life. I'm coming to where U live soon, do U want to meet up? Let's get a hotel and get nasty. Email me."

JFK: "I was very glad to hear from you again. I still believe I shall come to Europe in the fall – and would like to be sure that you could leave Sweden and come to Paris – or perhaps go to the Cote d'Azur (sic) – Qu'est-ce que vous pense (sic)? Let me know – as I do not want to drift through Europe waiting for a message from the North that never comes. Best, Jack."
Modern translation: "I'm glad UR into it 2 gurl. It's like R. Kelly said, I wanna get nasty with U. But yo if I come U better not stand me up. For real."

JFK: "I am still in the hospital after two months. I was terribly disappointed that at the last moment I was not able to come to Europe – especially when you were going to be in Paris – and we could have had such a good time. I expect to be here another month – then go back to Washington in January – we will finish there in July – and then without fail – I shall come over – if you are not all settled down by then. Is there any chance you will be coming to the U.S.? Best, Jack."
Modern translation: "Gurl I am so mad I cud not come but I was broke. I still want 2 sex U up and down. Why don't U come see me? Would save me some cash. Otherwise I still come C.U. Ok."

JFK: ""I must say you are a good correspondent. Under that beautiful, controlled face that still haunts me – beats a warm heart. There is a nurse on this floor that comes from Sweden. But she is dark-black haired. I say to her how could you leave the Venice of the North. But she replies – New York is so much nicer. How can she think that. She must be French. Why do you not suggest to the Swedish Automobile Association that they send you to the U.S. to explain the beauties of driving through Sweden to American tourists – or why couldn't your cousin have been minister to Washington instead of Warsaw. I leave here Tuesday – and then go to Palm Beach for two months to stay with my family to recover and then go back to Washington. We stay in session in Washington until the end of July and then I return to the mountains of Cagnes. Your Jack. I shall be c/o J.P. Kennedy Palm Beach Florida until March – afterward back in Washington."
Modern translation: "Gurl I want U so bad. U even finer than beyonce. I'm going outta town, here's my email so write me. My wife will never find out."

JFK: "Many thanks for your letter. I was delighted to hear from you. Send me your picture standing in front of 45 Skyransgatan (sic). I expect to be finished here around the first of August – I thought I would come to Europe around the 12th. If you are in Sweden – I shall come there. There must be a beach in Sweden. If you go to Italy I shall come there. I should like to get a boat and sail around. Qu'est-ce que vous pensez? And then in September – I shall go to Vietnam and Japan sadly. Did you see in the paper that our friend – the cold, frozen Mr. Gavin Welby – got married to Mr. Churchill's secy. Something must have happened. I have not met your friend – Mona Boheman as yet – but I am looking forward to asking her if she knows a beautiful Swedish girl with a quiet smile who lived on top of a mountain in the Cote d'Azur (sic) in August 1953. Jack."
Modern translation: "Gurl U no U need to send me naked photo. Like they say in that song, U spin my head right round, right round."

JFK: ""I received your letter – and the picture of Visby and your photograph – which I liked best of all. I am now planning to come on the 29th of July on the Ile de France – which gets to Le Havre the 4th of August – or the 5th of August on the United States which gets in the 10th. Sweden must be more than 120 Swedish miles from Le Havre – or is a Swedish mile 5 times longer than anyone else's mile? I assume you got to Stockholm to to meet your sister in August. Would you send me your address in Bastaad (sic) – and I will let you know exactly where I am. It is hot here – 101° - and I am anxious to leave and to see my Swedish friend. Jack."
Modern translation: "Gurl U no your picture turns me on. I'm coming to your neighborhood to get nasty. Get ready gurl. I am so hot."

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