In your tenuous Tuesday media column: people get fired for crazy reasons, reporters doubling as models, a talking head maybe getting a new job, and journalistic kayak fail.

Jonathan Springston was a reporter for the Atlanta Progressive News. But he was canned, because, "He held on to the notion that there was an objective reality that could be reported objectively, despite the fact that that was not our editorial policy at Atlanta Progressive News." That is what the editor said in real life!

A few days ago, NY Daily News reporter Rich Schapiro wrote a story about how he now stars, shirtless, in a body wash ad. A tipster tells us the ad was featured in the free NYC Metro paper today. Tomorrow Rich Schapiro can write a story about how he totally boned some people who recognized him on the subway. Then the next day, The Apocalypse probably happens.

CNBC's Charlie Gasparino is in talks with Fox Business, about going there, to Fox Business, to work, as he now does at CNBC. Raise your hand if this excites you. Eh. Well, there's always this.

Today in "Reporters Gamely Trying Activities They Know they Will Not be Good At:" A WSJ reporter kayaks the wild fjords of Chile. This could also be titled, "Today in 'How to Get a Free Trip to Chile.'"