Everyone is complaining about how annoying NBC's tape-delay coverage is. Well, tonight, NBC blew everyone's minds by showing some snowboarding at the same time it was actually happening. Shaun White's coach said "fucking" on live TV. And also: "shit."
Shaun White knew he had won the gold medal even before he started his last run. While at the top of the half-pipe before his victory ride, he and his coach, Bud Keane, started bro-ing down in an obscene way. Referring to Shaun White's trademark trick—the double-McTwist-1260—Keane said: "You freaking send that thing. And make sure you stomp the shit out of it." (Translation: "Do the trick, but don't fall.") And then, even more egregiously: "Way to fucking go, man." (Translation: "Way to go.")
NBC's announcers hastily explained, by way of apology, the emotions "coursing" through the two. They were coarse emotions! So now we know the real reason why NBC relies so heavily on lame tape-delayed coverage: They must spend hours purging from the footage any trace of obscenity-laden emotion. And we also now know why even a viewer with an actual rivet driven through their eye into the television screen would be hard pressed to describe this coverage as "riveting". They cut out all the good, sweary stuff! Where a cheesy profile would have sanded down Shaun and Bud's dudeness to a family-friendly sheen, tonight the world saw two real-life American bros—raw and uncensored. Perhaps a small child in rural Finland learned something new about our ways. And isn't that what the Olympics is all about?
As for Shaun White? He stomped the shit out of it. Way to fucking go, man. Way to fucking go.