What happens when you get one good looking man, overflowing estrogen, and an outcast everyone hates in one room? Good TV, that's what. The girl-on-girl hate over an alleged affair was in full force last night. And it was juicy.
Well, not the first hour. The first hour was dedicated to showing past cast members hooking-up with each other on booze cruises and doing charity work. Because if there's anything viewers of The Bachelor care about, it's past cast members pretending to care about charity work! "It's so nice to give back," they all say. Well you know who doesn't believe you? EVERYONE.
Anyway, onto these insane women. Michelle, the least bitchy, but the most crazy was sat down and shown a montage of her zaniness throughout the show. Her reaction? "I don't regret any of it." GRUH!?
Michelle, you did not wear your heart on your sleeve. You wore your thousands of dollars in needed therapy on your sleeve.
Michelle was just the soft opener for the night. The meat and potatoes from this episode without a doubt belonged to Rozlyn, who allegedly hooked-up repeatedly with a producer during her stay on the show. And judging from this reaction, the other girls do not like Rozlyn very much:
Thankfully in a court of law, she would be innocent until proven guilty. But this is no court of law, this is the fucking BACHELOR REUNION. And her fellow castmates played busty judge, leggy jury, and hair-straightened executioner last night. Tracy Jordan, please sum up how these girls acted:
And it would be easy to feel sympathy for Rozlyn if she wasn't such a terrible liar. Everyone had a different point of view of what happened between Rozlyn and the producer, everyone saw something different, and Rozlyn denied it all. So it was basically a reinterpretation of Rashomon with more fake boobs, subversive behavior and cocktail dresses!
The main giveaway for Rozlyn, however, is just how defensive she got. The more defensive she was, the more everyone attacked her. It's not like anyone really came out 'on top', though. All the girls attacking got up on their sop boxes to sound like petty, accusatory, shrieking harpys, and Rozlyn attacked back even harder, taking low blows and questioning everyone's character. But the host, the girls, and the crowd were all against her.
Well, one person did come out on top: Us, for being able to watch this and take a nice sigh of relief knowing that we are not these people.
In the end, Rozlyn turned the shit out of those tables, accusing Bachelor host Chris Harrison of hitting on the producer's (that she allegedly hooked-up with) ex-wife in New Zealand. Snap! That definitely got an "oohhhh" out of the crowd.
Like I sad. Shit was juicy.