Everyone's getting vajazzled! Well, okay, maybe just Jennifer Love Hewitt and some chick who got it done for free and blogged about it. (Slightly NSFW. Also, ew.) But what do dudes think about this latest trend in private part adornment?
Vajazzling involves getting a Brazilian bikini wax and then putting individual Swarovski crystals on the outside (I think—I mean, I hope—just the outside) of the vaginal region using adhesive. The spa where the blogger had it done, Completely Bare, apparently guarantees that they'll stay on for five days, but I would like to know what happens towards the end of the guaranteed period, to wit, this is not something I would like to get caught all up in there. And also, depending on how hairy you are, stuff could start growing back after five days and then you've got a big itchy crystal mess.
Anyway, the result is what the blogger called "a disco ball in my crotch." For $50.
So I put the question "Vajazzling: yes or no?" to several male acquaintances of mine. Was this something they'd want their girlfriends or random hookups to get done? Answer: no. In fact, they were almost uniformly horrified.
One friend—we'll call him Dan—took a look at the blogger's vajazzle and said, "While the photo of the end product was not nearly as absurd as i was expecting, absolutely NAY."
Or take this IM exchange I had with a guy friend, whom I will call "Brad":
me: what are your thoughts on vajazzling?
brad: A mixture of horror and curiosity.
me: would you be disturbed if someone you were having sex with went out and did it?
me: or... would you be into it
brad: It seems so... complicated.
brad: How does it effect me?
me: well, what if the crystals came off?
brad: Stop now.
brad: Thank you.
brad: I am against.
One lad, whom we'll call Scott, said he was opposed but could nonetheless see the appeal—for a certain type of man: "Er, I dunno. It's pretty weird. But I guess for people into kinky shit it's cool—Batman masks and whatnot." Or perhaps, I suggested, a vajazzle in the shape of a Batman mask? "Why not!" he said.
Said another friend—let's call him Phil: "Okay. Um, no. Wouldn't, it, um, hurt both parties while doing certain things? Okay, maybe it would be funny as a surprise one time. But all the time? It feels like a real hood rat ghetto sort of thing. Or a J Lo thing, which is maybe the same thing. Then again I am pretty anti tattoos and piercings and body mods in general. I think girls are just perfect the way they are."