We Are All Degenerate GamblersS

The Way We Live Now: Trying to cover our bad bets. We are seriously bad gamblers. Worse than the average gambler (who is not good, in the first place). There's an upside, though: coke, models, and booze! Cheap booze.

Have you ever noticed that every city everywhere is always trying to get the Olympics to come there, and then they break out the municipal credit card and spend an unlimited amount of money to put on the bestest Olympics ever, and then, when they Olympics are over in two short weeks, those cities wake up and say whoa, we put ourselves in so much fucking debt forever and ever for these stupid little games, what were we thinking?

This proves that everyone is stupid.

That's not the only thing that everyone is, though. Everyone is also venal. Just look at how the same banks that helped Greece conceal its massive debt are now pushing the nation more quickly towards economic collapse by betting on Greek default. One might retort, "Banks are not moral actors, they are amoral profit-maximizing institutions, which are venal!" Which would be accurate, the bastards.

And then there's the Stuy Town thing. Ugh. At least somebody is swooping in to buy it now, for PENNIES ON THE DOLLAR, JESUS SO MUCH MONEY EVAPORATED. Ugh. I mean good. Bad bets.

It's not so surprising that we, a world of degenerate gamblers, are further beset by all-female coke-smuggling rings led by lingerie models and a bottomless supply of dirt-cheap liquor. That is just our cross to bear. So we will bear the part of the cross with the lingerie models, and some other suckers can bear the part of the cross with the debt, and in this way we will work together to bring our hobbled world into a sunny new age of cooperative degenerate gambling, once more.