After We're Gone, Celebrity Wang Lives On In Our Hearts: The Last Gossip Roundup Until TomorrowS

Sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson's big orgy debut angers his non-sparkly girlfriend! Lindsay Lohan is out on the town, partying again. A-Rod dumped his new girlfriend. The Bachelor people got married! Oprah has secrets. Presenting my final Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

  • Lindsay Lohan sucks. [NYDN]

  • A-Rod sucks. [Page Six]

  • The Bachelor sucks. [People]

  • Tyra Banks sucks. [Page Six]

  • Charlie Sheen sucks. [TMZ]

  • The Black Eyed Peas suck. Unless they're punching Perez Hilton in the face. [Page Six]

  • Britney Spears sucks. [Just Jared]

  • Oprah sucks. [TMZ]

  • Robert Pattinson and an orgy. [The Sun]

  • U2 sucks, but only recently, particularly over the last decade. [HuffPo]

  • Something about Lady Gaga's penis. [Page Six]

  • Boris and Natasha-esque gossip duo Rush & Molloy focus their Moose and Squirrel sights today on Matt Damon, who thinks Barack Obama sucks. [R & M]

  • Kelly Bensimon sucks. [WWTDD]

  • Sen. Chuck Schumer sucks.[R & M, Second Item]

  • Chris Rock is the man. [Just Jared]

  • Janice Dickenson sucks. [TMZ]

Celebrity gossip. It's where the money is. You think I'm spending an hour on that shit today, you're dead wrong. Meet my friends, Young Manhattanite. They'll be seeing me through my last day here, as we're broadcasting live from YMHQ on the Lower East Side of fabulous New York City. Each post will be bylined by them at the bottom. Phyllis Nefler will also be stopping by around 2:30 PM.

Please, enjoy your Sunday. We have a fun day ahead of us.

[Image not via The Smithsonian Archive. That turned out far stranger than I'd originally anticipated. Still, I enjoy it. Also, if I ever put "Photoshop Proficient" on my resume, at least you know I'm lying now.]