A little girl wears black lipstick, a wig, and no pants to perform "Bad Romance" in a Brazilian talent show. She crawls across the floor and growls. The crowd cheers. A judge who resembles Santa Claus grins.
Never has Santa been such a perv, and never have I so feared a person of single-digit age since Children of the Corn. The Huffington Post accompanies their post on Baby Gaga with a poll: "What do you think of Laura's performance? Amazing! or Creepy?" Creepy. Definitely, unquestionably creepy.
Well, okay, a little bit amazing, but only because you know Dina Lohan watched it and wished her kids were younger. And because, if I were eight, a performance like this would be the crowning achievement of my life, too. Hell, it'd be the crowning achievement if I were twelve. Or twenty-five.