America's Goofiest College Race WarS

Are college kids in San Diego particularly racist, or just, perhaps, particularly dumb? Monday, a "KKK-style hood" was found "atop a Dr. Seuss statue" on campus, naturally. Allow us to briefly recap sunny UCSD's recent reign of racial hullabaloo:

  • On Feb. 15, some idiot frat boys hold a "Compton Cook-Out." But the thing is these guys were actually white and not from Compton, you see! It was all just a run-of-the-mill, racist joke. It was funny when they ate watermelon there!
  • Also UCSD kids were mad because there is a "satiric" frat boy idiot newspaper there called The Koala, which makes funny cutting-edge jokes about black people, for white people. The Koala apparently did not contribute to the atmosphere of healing in the wake of the "Compton Cook-Out," if you know what we mean.
  • In response, the UCSD administration planned a "teach-in" about racism. "LAME SAUCE," was the opinion of our own UCSD correspondent and her non-frat-boy allies.
  • So then, according to our embedded correspondent, the anti-racist UCSD forces "staged a MASSIVE walk-out of the teach in: something like 1000 students and faculty marched right the fuck on out of the administration-sponsored event and held a giant protest and alternative teach-in."
  • Is the anti-racism teach-in the real enemy here? We'll leave that to current college students to decide.
  • Then last week, good lord, somebody put a noose in the UCSD library. Are there any remaining nooses in America not located on college campuses, at this point?
  • The noose student anonymously apologized, saying it was all a big mistake. Here is our favorite part of that explanation: "I found a small piece of rope on the ground earlier in the day.... My friend then took the rope and tied it into a noose. I innocently marveled at his ability to tie a noose."
  • Now somebody has put a Klan hood on a Dr. Seuss statue. Maybe it was the Compton Cook-Out guys?
  • Time for another teach-in! And another counterprotest of that sellout teach-in!
  • Repeat, until student loans come due.
[Pics: Flickr, Stop Racism at UCSD]
America's Goofiest College Race WarS