Do you want free rent in Manhattan? This Craigslist user's got a deal for you: All you need to do is walk on his back for an hour each day. And give him your leftovers. And find him a wife.
You will never believe who posted this ad: Harvard-trained eye surgeon Dr. Emil Chynn, aka the Cornelia Street Crusader! Dr. Chynn is the LASEK expert who emailed a 2,600 word rant about his neighbor's rundown property to half of New York's media, and had an ice statue made of his (adorable) dog, Hershey. Tonight, he posted one of the most incredible Craigslist roommate ads ever.
Titled "FREE STUDIO ON PARK AVE FOR PERSONAL ASSISTANT!", the post offers a free studio apartment in the basement of his office building in exchange for services as a "personal assistant." (Women only!) Including: Spending an hour "either walking on my back... or if you are more than 115, you can just give me a deep masage." Plus, helping him tidy up "my ski house, my beach house, or my other beach house." Also, finding him a girlfriend: "Part of your assignment will probably be to reactivate my match.com profile and troll for dates for me, as i don't really have the time to do this properly." A daunting task, but if you succeed in finding Chynn a woman he eventually marries, you are richly rewarded—by his parents: "my parents will give you a reward of $10,000 in cash, ie bills, so that's a bonus!" We have spent enough time researching Dr. Chynn to suspect this is likely true.
Chynn states that your duties as his personal assistant do not include "ANYTHING SEXUAL." Plus, there's that $10,000 cash bonus if you get him hitched! So... uh... maybe it's not a bad deal? He seems sort of harmlessly creepy, and the voicemail he left us was very reasonable! Read the post, and if it's your kind of thing contact Dr. Chynn and move into the basement of his eye surgery practice. (The best parts are highlighted. And, Dr. Chynn, if you're serious about that bonus—let's talk. We have friends.)
You will notice the post does not outright identify Dr. Chynn as the author: How do we know it's him?
- Chynn is known in his neighborhood for taking in women rent-free as his "personal assistants." He has also posted similar ads in the past.
- The office of Chynn's eye surgery practice, Park avenue Laser, is Park Avenue South at 25th st. The Craigslist listing is Park Avenue South at 24th St.
- Chynn loves his dog. The ad states: "i have a very sweet dog, so you must like dogs and he must like you, as he is the love of my life (at least until i find a wife)"
- Chynn makes it very clear in his email signature that he has degrees from Dartmouth and Columbia. The ad refers to the poster's "multiple ivy-league degrees."