Tabloid sex columnist Andrea Peyser has just about had it with people going out and purposely committing crimes in order to go to jail and be able to purchase affordable Pop-Tarts. Wise up, taxpayers.

With prices like these, committing robbery seems an attractive career choice.

At Rikers Island, coffee goes for 59 cents, M&Ms cost 66 pennies and Pop-Tarts set you back 57 cents. It's no wonder the commissary's business is hotter than a Manhattan nightclub, and even attracts some of the same patrons.

In these hardscrabble times, crime does pay.

She really is just fucking with us now.