Like all youths in my country, I sat in my family's homestead watching in rapt attention, internalizing the Canadian values transmitted through these messages. These crazy PS-ehs are remembered fondly and have become Canadian memes threaded through our personal history.
As you all know, Canada is a barren wasteland whose inhabitants are too cold to think of anything but gathering firewood. Luckily, our commitment to socialism and quaint content laws ensure the constant production of advertisements that teach citizens important life lessons—through the liberal use of shock, drug-fueled puppets and a unique Canadian brand of nostalgia.
In true Canadian fashion, French-Canada has not been represented in this list.
Astar The Waramp Robot
Astar taught us that his futuristic robot body parts are far superior to our fragile human limbs. So play safe kids, or you'll find yourself on Planet Danger (an amputee slave to cruel robot gods)!
Dontcha Put It In Your Mouth
Canadian PSAs are designed to impart lessons and rules of etiquette to its audience that will last a lifetime. This one is particularly important: "always ask someone you love before you put anything in your mouth."
Puppet zombie Lou Reed tries to sell drugs to two talking puppet fetuses. Like they told their mother in the womb, they are just not into any cocktail he happens to be pushing.
Bert and Gert: Safety Bunnies
A collection of the best clips from a series of PSAs designed to tell children about the predatory nature of the elusive adult stranger. Bert and Gert, safety rabbits, travel into the hallucinations of children and tell them "keep spinning, you are much harder to hold that way!"
The brilliant song featured here stayed at the number one spot of the state-controlled Canadian pop charts for eleven weeks. Don't believe me? Just ask Murray, he will tell you.
Work Safety Advertisement
Sometimes to get its message across to its frigid Canadian audience, a PSeh needs to be as graphic as possible.
HomeFront's Banned Domestic Abuse Ad
Sometimes a PSA is deemed too controversial, and is never allowed to air. All Canadians agreed on this one - seeing that much coffee wasted on one woman would give our socialist children the wrong message.
Surpassing both the beaver and the moose, the house hippo has quickly become Canada's favourite national animal.
Hal Johnston and Joanne Mcleod reached the top of Canadian celebrity with their early nineties fashion and healthy attitudes. Not only did they teach us quick fitness exercises and the importance of eating meat, but it is also rumoured that Hal Johnston was solely responsibly for bringing back the mustache. They are the two greatest sex symbols in Canadian history, a nation highly regarded for our low standards.
Hinterland Who's Who
This quintessential Canadian PSA was designed to represent the daily life of the Canadian people, through a creative metaphorical exploration of various woodland creatures.
Part of Our Heritage: Canada
Part of a series of advertisements that highlighted the many accomplishments of Canadians throughout history. This one in particular, filled Canadians with a sense of national shame and pride that was deliriously confusing.