For reasons we can't fathom, dudes in Hollywood have really bad hair. Here are the worst offenders so far — in black and white as an homage to those home-made model shots you see in the windows of crappy hairdressers.

We have no idea why guys here, in a city that shapes the world's idea of style through its moving pictures, have The Worst Hair In America. But, judging from our experiences at last night's OK! magazine party and from outside In-n-Out Burger, they do. We'd also like to mention the ones that got away—we missed a couple of bleached, gelled, mullet-into-mohawks which were breathtaking. Dali-esque even. There's always tonight.

The Worst Hair in Hollywood, Part OneS

This man deliberately, carefully teased his bleached hair into these waves, which lap gently at the shore of shittiness.

The Worst Hair in Hollywood, Part OneS

We did not prompt this handsome fellow to contort his features into a dramatic reconstruction of the mess on his head. But he did. And for this, we thank him.

The Worst Hair in Hollywood, Part OneS

If you are looking for someone to run down a wind tunnel, slicing at the very air with his carbon-fiber-hard fin, this is your man.

The Worst Hair in Hollywood, Part OneS

In an avant-garde adaptation of the traditional faux-hawk, this fellow has opted for a double-peak option. Fun at the front and... fun in the back?

The Worst Hair in Hollywood, Part OneS

You may scoff at this man's Keith Urban circa-1999 coiffure. But it had serious consequences.

The Worst Hair in Hollywood, Part OneS

Coiffure and his friend are not, as we first thought, engaged in a thought-provoking interpretive dance piece in the parking lot of In-n-Out Burger at 3am. We believe, having reviewed the evidence, that this was some brand of hairstyle-related fisticuffs. Think of this before you break out your can of Elnett.