Why George Clooney Was Mean at the Oscars, and Other Mysteries

It's because his secret stash of booze ran dry. Sandra Bullock wins worst actress, Mo'Nique and Oprah clash, Farah Fawcett is forgotten, terrorists hate Hollywood, Tom Cruise gets in a wreck. Monday's gossip has a champagne hangover.

  • George Clooney was getting tanked drinking out of a flask on the red carpet. That may explain his behavior, but it isn't a justification for his mullet. When he started making mean faces during the program, we thought for sure it was going to be part of a gag later on, but it either never happened or he was just pissed off. Maybe he ran out of his contraband appletinis. [E! Online]

  • Hollywood is afraid of terrorists. How do we know? Apparently the Vanity Fair Oscar party had bomb sniffing dogs and ex-CIA agents dressed up as waiters in case something went horribly awry. Maybe this year they thought Al Qaeda were especially threatened because some Olympians were in attendance. Shaun White wore an outfit only slightly less ridiculous than his snowboarding costume, and Evan Lysacek brought Vera Wang as his beard date. Of course, all the celebs still showed and partied, but the whole time they were looking over their shoulders for Osama bin Laden himself to come in and grab Graydon Carter by the lapel and ask where his invitation was. All he really wants is to be recognized for his work. [P6]

  • Sandra Bullock, stop trying to make us like you! First you gave the Platonic ideal of a great Oscar speech, then we found out that you showed up on Saturday night to the Golden Raspberries to accept your award for Worst Actress for All About Steve. Way to keep it real, sister.[P6]

  • At a luncheon on Saturday afternoon, Oprah Winfrey and Mo'Nique either made nice happy faces at one another, or Mo'Nique got so pissed at Oprah stealing her thunder that she pouted and forced the restaurant to be cleared so that she could shaker her booty to "What's Going On." [P6 , NYDN]

  • Nobody went to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences official New York party at the Palace Hotel. Maybe it's because of the scary appetizers. [P6]

  • Yes, you were right, they did leave Farrah Fawcett out of the And Now They're Dead montage at last night's Academy Awards. Don't worry, the happy memory of her work in Saturn 3 will live far longer than this snub. [TMZ]

  • Gossip dowager Cindy Adams thinks Meryl Streep was robbed. God, I hate when I agree with her. [Cindy Adams]

  • Itty bitty Tom Cruise crashed his itty bitty motorcycle when he mistook his real life for Mission Impossible IV and ran a stop sign crashing into another car. He is lucky that Xenu is on his side and saving him from harm. [Hollywood Life]

  • "Prince William gives shitty gifts. Well, not really. He gave girlfriend Kate Middleton a pair of $28,000 antique pearl earrings, and they were eaten by her dog! Of course they eventually came out the other end, but were "damaged beyond repair." It sucks for whichever member of the royal staff was tasked with searching for the studs in order to make that assessment. [NYDN]

[Image via Getty]