Well, how do you like that. After a wild and shaky season, our favorite (and, sadly, only) polygamist drama ended its fourth lap in thrilling and moving fashion.
Yes, I said thrilling and moving! If you didn't feel some sort of swell of the heart or catch in the throat or pound in the chest or something as the wives all publicly clasped hands and the wind blew their hair (where were they?) then you are a soulless robot zombie from the planet Zorbot. (Is that where Jesus and Moroni live? I don't remember my theology.) It was great! It was exactly where this ridiculous carnival season needed to end up. I'm beginning to think that the craziness of the storylines this season was the whole point. The juggling and lying and all that needed to reach a fever pitch, so decisions could be made and partnerships ended.
Ended?? Barb sorta broke up with Bill last night, didn't she? I know in the end she grabbed hands with the family and all, but I think that was just for show. When she said "I needed you for twenty years and I don't think I need you anymore," that sounded pretty final, didn't it? I suppose we'll have to wait until next year to find out. But of all the shifting narratives of each of the three wives seeming to contemplate leaving the family, that it ultimately turned out to be Barb who made the big decision was supremely satisfying. It had shades of season two, I believe, when we last saw Barb struggling to accept her place in this strangely unequal marriage. Jeanne Tripplehorn did fabulous work as always — I hope somebody somewhere gives her an award. But, they probably won't.
Speaking of good lady actresses, Sissy Spacek! What a strange, quietly sad character her Marilyn turned out to be, eh? I'm not sure I quite got why she had such an emotional attachment to Bill and his various infidelities, but that doesn't really matter. Mostly it was just a joy to watch Spacek do what she does so well and to see a ballsy woman throw Bill's arrogance back in his face. Though, it was kinda strange that the writers chose to have the one woman who ever really stood toe to toe with Bill become a crying mess in the end. That said, it was completely terrific when she said that his polygamy was just another "excuse to fuck around." Because, yes, that's exactly what it is. Joseph Smith was a known philanderer who invented the polygamy revelation because he couldn't keep it in his pants. Yay men!
It doesn't seem like Spacek will be back in any capacity next season, which is a shame. Now that Bill has won the election and come out of the triple-wide closet we'll have to deal with more political plotlines, but I'm assuming it will all be of the local variety. Ohh and will they move to that big creepy house on the hill? That sounds like trouble to me, going from three safely separate homes to one large shared one. I feel like intimate nights or whatever would be wayyy more awkward. But that'll be fun to watch, hopefully! The creepy house on haunted hill filled with unhappy public polygamists.
The second most exciting thing to happen all episode was that Mary Kay Place done gone wild. She basically burned JJ and his weirdo bewigged wife alive. Wasn't that horrifying? I mean, the whole storyline was horrifying. Turns out that JJ was trying to make a pure race by taking Wanda's eggs and putting them in other ladies, like Adaleen, and then fertilizing them himself. So incest, basically. There were reports coming out of the creepy Kansas compound (I think based on the real-life creepy Texas compound) about inbreeding and developmentally disabled children and it seems that JJ was the source of a lot of it. So, yeah, he's gross. And now he's probably dead, as Mary Kay and Chloe staged a daring scissor-stabbing escape, and then Mary Kay tied JJ and his wife together, doused everything with gasoline, and set the whole doctor's office of horrors ablaze. I'm so glad they didn't kill her off. She may be my favorite character on this show. Let's get a spin-off. Adaleen!
Goodness, what else. Bill got Adam Beach and his dad fired from the casino because they were allowing meth to be sold on the floor. This made Barb sad and mad and ultimately caused her to say she wants out. I mean, that wasn't the main reason, but it didn't hurt. Don's kid is angry at the Henricksons because everything's been messed up for his family since Don was made to take the polygamist fall a couple of episodes ago. Ana and Serbian Matt LeBlanc are still tangled up in all of this, even more so now that Margene made her creepy confession that she has a crush on Balkan Eddie Cibrian and Ana was all "Whatever" and the three of them did a weird hug thing. A new plural family is born!
OK, that's basically it. I think the finale episode helped to make up for the odd messiness of the past few episodes, and brought this season where it needed to go. Don't you feel like the wagons have circled a little and next time everything won't be as spread out and stretched thin as it was this season? Well, that's my feeling at least. Who knows what will actually happen. I'm happy that, despite a wobbly run, I still can't wait to find out.
Oh and Nicki straightened her hair. It looks good.