Kissing in Public Gets You Nothing but Trouble

Everyone is pissed off about people making out in public today. Security officials, Washington Post readers, and Tiger Woods fans are all up in arms. We're close to a government-mandated all-out PDA ban.

Haisong Jiang was sentenced to 100 hours of community service and upwards of $600 in fines for kissing his girlfriend. Why? Because he busted through a TSA barrier at Newark Airport earlier this year to see his girlfriend off to her departure gate. All he wanted was a little sugar in his bowl and he got the entire airport shut down, and a five-day manhunt, arrest, and much ridicule followed. It wasn't worth it, was it, Jiang?

• Everyone also hates the Washington Post, which ran a picture of two men kissing on the cover of the paper when D.C. started allowing same-sex couples to get married. On his blog today, the paper's ombudsman, Andrew Alexander, shares some of the vitriol he got from readers who, he says, ranted at the paper for days about promoting a "faggot lifestyle." Gay people are forced to watch heterosexuals hold hands, make out, and fondle each other all over the place. We've learned to shut up and deal with it. But when we finally achieve one small human rights victory, we can't even celebrate by kissing in public without hearing a bunch of morons hee-haw about how disgusting it is. Just because a pair of dudes are making out on the cover of the WaPo does not mean you are now gay, divorced, or a Cher fan. Just shut up and cope, people.

• Two other people who can't kiss without making waves are Elin and Tiger Woods. According to Radar Online, the pair were caught kissing yesterday near their home in Florida. So it looks like the divorce is off and it's time for another round of headlines about their relationship. But isn't this what married people are supposed to do? And at least it's Elin and not some nasty cocktail waitress who used to be a stripper.

What have we learned from all this? Well, if you kiss in public you will be arrested, made fun of, and/or written about. The old adage to "get a room" isn't just about public comfort. It's for your own safety!

[Image via Getty]