Ashton Kutcher Inappropriately Turned On by Mother-Daughter Stripper Pole Lesson

"Mother-daughter stripper pole" is a phrase you don't hear often for a reason. Gwyneth Paltrow spends time with another male musician. Howard Stern makes fun of Gabourey Sidibe. Vigilante sorority closes in on Roethlisberger. Wednesday gossip crosses the line.

  • Demi Moore has taken the "cool mom" thing too far. Apparently she "gave daughter Rumer Willis a pole-dancing lesson at a party at the Chateau Marmont," and "even spun around the pole upside down," like she learned to do in Striptease. Husband-young-enough-to-be-Rumer's-brother Ashton Kutcher cheered her on, and gave Leonardo DiCaprio a high five. Which is unfortunate, because I thought Rumer might be the rare celebuspawn to escape youth without a chemical addiction; now, all bets are off. [P6]

  • Gwyneth Paltrow was photographed with Snow Patrol frontman Gary Lightbody, because the only men she ever speaks to are ones who sing in bands with names as chilly as her demeanor is. But seriously, "Is Gwyneth getting some extracurricular Lite FM?" [LaineyGossip]

  • "Ben Roethlisberger's accuser may have dropped out of school, but her sorority is closing ranks." Is there anything scarier than a mob of vigilante sorority girls? The sisters have been "ordered" to take everything about themselves off Facebook and Twitter, and not to wear or do anything to identify their Greek membership. They're also going to flip the switch on Legally Blonde's hot pink phone tree of doom and destruction. North Korea's nuclear warheads should be landing on Roethlisberger's doorstep any minute now. [TMZ]

  • Howard Stern made fun of Gabourey Sidibe for being "the most enormous, fat black chick I've ever seen." This is a repulsive, yes, but mostly it is tiresome. As long as Howard Stern insists on picking these mind-numbingly obvious fights with mind-numbingly obvious public figures, I will be too annoyed to entertain his mildly brilliant Tiger Woods mistress beauty pageant, which is offering a 3.5-carat diamond ring and $100,000 cash prize to its winner. (Jamie Jungers would totally cut a bitch or that, right?) It's not that you're offensive, Howard. It's that you're transparent and repetitive. [Celebitchy] [TMZ]

  • Justin Timberlake and long-term ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz are reuniting for rom-com Bad Teacher. Current girlfriend Jessica Biel must be freaking out. [StarPulse]

  • Taylor Momsen gave an interview about how she's "not Paris Hilton. I don't really care about being a celebrity." Which is why she is giving interviews saying, "I smoke, so what?" and "I didn't get into this to be a role model for 7-year-olds." Oh, honey. You're just asking for a thousand "I didn't get into this to be kind to 16-year-olds" responses. You know that, right? [Parade]

  • Eric Hopper's ex-wife Victoria Duffy is a savant at free loading. According to their prenup, Victoria had 60 days after divorce papers will filed to pack up and leave the residence. Today is day 60 and Victoria's arguing "the guest house she's holed up in is so far from Hopper's house, it's almost like she's gone." Also, she's "really ticked off" she didn't get invited to Oscar parties this year. Rich people's problems are so cute. [P6]

  • "Did Gerard Butler and Madonna Hook Up?" Do we even need to answer that question? The story about Madge injecting Vitamin B-12 into Gerry's rear end is pretty fantastic, though. [Celebitchy]

  • Givenchy booked a bunch of models for Paris Fashion Week and made one of them fly all the way in from Argentina, only to drop five of them at the last minute, which is poor form, because they'd booked them exclusively which means the models are now stranded in Paris with no other shows, forced to absorb the travel costs on their own. Tres shitty. [P6]

  • Is this headline about Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) supposed to be double entendre? "Dem bigs' nerves in knots over Weiner wedding." Because, ew. [P6]

  • Audrina Patridge's alleged stalker was carrying a Nazi knife when he was arrested outside her home last month. Sometimes being a celebrity does suck. [TMZ]

  • Katie Couric and her "17-years-younger boyfriend" reached the three-year mark. Mazeltov to the happy couple. [P6]