The Week We Meat-Gazed

We began the week with Oscar fever, and we ended it in a big ol' tickle fight with salty sailors and substance-abusing slut babies.

There were Oscars. Ravi crashed the Vanity Fair party. Then we explained some things.

We took a peek inside the Cheezburger sweatshop. We met the person Conan followed on the Twitter. We asked tough questions about people who change their faces and stuff. We came out hard against John Krasinski. We told Jessica Simpson to go away, forever. We met Jihad Jane. We said goodbye to Corey Haim. And then we looked all the other child stars who made poor decisions. The assistant to the scary CEO of Yahoo is now the assistant to the cool CEO of Twitter. We wondered if that Milkaholic Lindsay knows who she is suing. Eric Massa touched all of us. We talked to one of his old shipmates. Park Slope parents are killing their precious babies. No one on TV does tough interviews anymore. The Google people are deluded and arrogant. Oh, hey, and Wyclef made sure his lady got paid.

Anderson Cooper is still gay.

Lady Gaga made a music video, for the internet.

Hamilton uncovered the news that Scott Brown was once sued, by a lady!

The director who tried to buy a good review in Variety sued them. But Variety knows that no one takes their reviews seriously.

Also, TV: Big Love, Gossip Girl, High Society, Project Runway, The Real Housewives of New York, American Idol's girls, boys, and elimination.