A wayward memo from Alpha Delta Phi's Cornell chapter reveals naked jogging, live animals, pornography, and a smoothie made from dog food, tabasco, and sour cream. Or, as it is known at Taco Bell, nachos grande.
• Forced to chug a slurry of dogfood, tabasco sauce, and sour cream;
• Run relay races, while blackout drunk, through the great halls of the ADPhi manor–filled with flour, beer, and water–while being pelted with dodgeballs;
• Jog naked laps outside the house in the below-freezing Ithaca winter;
• Stand outside in a "lineup" for two hours, with only a shirt, jacket, tie and slacks.
Standing in line wearing a tie for two hours is an abuse comparable to chugging dog food? Get ready for recession job fairs, kids! Anyway, IvyGate also published an internal ADPhi memo to pledges advising them on their live goldfish, the procurement of pornography (what are they middle schoolers?), trips to a store called Dick, and obedience to a flogger named Shep.
—— Forwarded message ——
From: "Alexander [redacted]" <[redacted]@cornell.edu>
Date: Mar 4, 2010 11:42 AM
Subject: LINEUP TONIGHT
Its that time again boys, with new rules.
Be at the bottom of Alpha Delta Phi Drive at 9:10 PM tonight, and each of us must have:
-1 pack of cigs
-a helmet and a cup (as in the kind lacrosse and hockey players wear)
-porn (can be magazine or video… extra points if you find Pirates 2 (can be downloaded and burned))
-either a 6
-pack of beer or a bottle of liquor/wine (should be something YOU want to drink)
-Protocol attire, but WEAR SNEAKERS
The pledge class as a whole must have these items:
-1 LARGE bottle of tabasco sauce
-2 cases of beer (NOT keystone)
-2 live small goldfish
Figure this shit out ASAP. Everyone should probably give Shep money to buy the booze.
Guys should also take the bus to Dick's to get anything sporting-related