Banned From TV: 'Tampon Vagina'S

The death of euphemism in advertising continues apace. "Tampon is not a dirty word, and neither is vagina," claims a tampon advertising guru. Oh? Television networks disagree.

Now: while we have taken a bold stand against graphic toilet paper and pubic hair-trimming ads, we would never attempt to deny a woman the right to say "vagina," or even "vagina vagina vagina." This is a woman's right, in America. That said, "tampon" is clearly a dirty word, to men, because, come on, yuck. And the men who run the networks and who know best what women need are solidly in agreement: Andrew Adam Newman reports that Kotex's frank new ad campaign for...feminine products for when you feel not-so-fresh has been banned from the airwaves.

Merrie Harris, global business director at JWT, said that after being informed that it could not use the word vagina in advertising by three broadcast networks, it shot the ad cited above with the actress instead saying "down there," which was rejected by two of the three networks. (Both Ms. Harris and representatives from the brand declined to specify the networks.)

What with all the dancing on the beach ladies do during...that time of the month, they won't even notice the lack of information about...products for...down there, to help them be...fresh, and whatnot. Let's pretend none of this ever happened.