In a single hour, Macy's sold 72,000 bottles of Beyonce's new perfume yesterday. If you think that's impressive, check out all the other stuff she uses her famous face to sell. A portrait of the artist as a commodity.
With a "floral-fruity-woody blend" and packaging that resembles lube, Heat by Beyonce may be Beyonce's first perfume byline, but it's not the first scent she's called her own. She was the face of Emporio Armani Diamonds and launched Tommy Hilfiger True Star and True Star Gold. They weren't really her, though: "I haven't found a scent that truly personifies me as a woman," she explained on Heat's press tour. (Yes, perfumes have press tours, too.)
In Japan, Beyonce likes to drink Crystal Geyser water—but only in Japan. These ads aren't licensed to air elsewhere.
Beverage: Everywhere Else
In America and ancient Rome, she prefers Pepsi.
Phones: Verizon and Samsung
When she isn't contributing to extended Lady Gaga musical shill "Telephone" (which stumps for Virgin Mobile) Beyonce shills for Verizon. She even has a signature phone: the Samsung B'Phone.
L'Oreal can't decide what color Beyonce is, but promise they have a foundation to match.
Hollow Shell of Herself: Barbie
The obligatory Beyonce Barbies. Jay-Z Ken doll optional. It should be noted that the resemblances are uncanny. Maybe Beyonce is a human-sized Barbie doll come to life? Before ever show, Jay-Z pulls a cord in her back to make her sing.
To Watch Herself: Vizio HD TV
B's Super Bowl ad for Vizio is at once high-end (expensive televisions, cool production value) and low-end (she shares it with the Numa Numa guy and Twitter bird).
Before Vizio Outbid Them: DirecTV
I like to imagine that "Upgrade U" launched a bloody bidding war between DirecTV, Verizon, and Vizio. It's so commercial-friendly!
Clothing: House of Dereon
Beyonce's entire family is part of House of Dereon, a clothing line that is supposed to be her mother's project, primarily, just as Destiny's Child's costumes were. Dereon clothes grumpy Beyonces and mini-Beyonce babies alike. Dereon manages to slip into myriad other Beyonce shills, including...
Beverage: When Her Sister's Around
Beyonce's milk ad is two shills, for milk and for her sister, Solange, whose very career started as a human product placement in Beyonce's "Get Me Bodied" video.
To Carry All That Money: Samantha Thavasa Disney Handbags
But only in Japan. In 2009, Beyonce skipped the Teen Choice Awards to appear at a Samantha Thavasa event at Japanese Disneyland.
To Spend All That Money: AmEx
Some of Beyonce's shills are as good for her "brand" as they are for the brand she's selling. Her first American Express ad shows a relatable gal on the run, fighting to keep her feet on the ground amid a life of unbearable glamour.