We Need a New Word for 'Hipster'S

Okay. Yes. We said we were going to ban the god damn word "hipster," but we have lapsed. Mea culpa, and shit. The real problem is that there's not a pithy replacement word. That's where you come in.

In the same way that we used futuristic internet "crowdsourcing" technology to come up with the white-person slur "Nilla" (which is, um, in widespread use, now), we are going to allow you, the asshole commentariat, to come up with an official replacement word for "Hipster." We know you're all hipsters, so it should be easy. Your new word should meet these criteria, which I'm just spitballing:

1. It must succeed in evoking a widely understood and recognized subculture. The same subculture now referred to as "hipster."
2. It must be one word. Pithiness is key. The point is to be able to refer to hipsters without having to describe them, which is impossible.
3. "Hipster" is, in essence, a slur. It must have at least an underlying whiff of insult.

Okay then! Put your suggestions in the comments. Then we'll pick the best ones, put out a poll, and before you know one more annoying slang word will have entered the English language.
[Pic: LATFH. Book coming soon, don't forget!]