Bill O'Reilly Is Now a Happy, Moderate Obama Lover

The LA Times profiled Bill and found that he's mellowing in his old age. He's even happy that Glenn Beck has stolen his thunder as a liberal hate figure. "I'm just a human meat shield for the guy," responds Beck.

Apparently it's one big happy family! Gone are the days of O'Reilly freakouts. "Some of the conversations are still heated," explains Amy Sohnen, O'Reilly's executive producer in the story, "but you may not see the vein explode anymore." O'Reilly even says he likes Obama, though he does not think he has the experience for the job.

He still checks his ratings every day, but he's now seen, according to Beck as "the senior statesman," of Fox News. While there is scant evidence of this on the air, he apparently feels that he has "a responsibility to be a little more cautious, be a little more circumspect when I go after somebody to make sure we have everything covered. Because I can destroy lives. And I'm not going to do that until I'm 100% convinced that the person deserves what they get."

He still denies any responsibility for ramping up hatred against abortion doctor George Tiller (you know, the hatred that got him killed) saying he "reported the story accurately." So we must have misheard when we thought he said "...if I could get my hands on Tiller — well, you know. Can't be vigilantes. Can't do that. It's just a figure of speech," which is not, of course, suggestive in any way.

The Times did not ask about falafels. Which is a shame, as we've always wondered if he can still enjoy the chickpea-based delights of middle-eastern cuisine in the same way since he allegedly sexually harassed a producer on his show by suggesting he rub her vagina with one. This suit was settled.