Padma Lakshmi Does Not Want You Messing with Her Baby and Other Warnings

She wants total control of her daughter's life. Reese Witherspoon has a new man. Jesse James' ex-wife fights for custody—again. No one shows at Bethenny's baby shower. Octomom gets a porn offer. Monday's gossip is pregnant and horny.

  • The arrangement between Padma Lakshmi and her reported babydaddy Adam Dell is about to get interesting. Some are saying that Dell hired super lawyer Bill Zabel to try to get more time with his daughter, Krishna, but a source close to Padma says the pair already has a deal that keeps the father's involvement in raising his daughter negligible. Oh, guys, instead of fighting, maybe you can just have a cook-off? [P6]

  • Reese Witherspoon celebrated her birthday by heading out in public in Ojai, California, with CAA agent Jim Toth, her new man. It's been rumored that the duo have been together for a bit now and they've been denying it, but now the coupling is official, at least according to the tabloids. They first had dinner in January, shortly after Witherspoon parted ways with Jake Gyllenhaal, but said that they only had a business relationship. Now it appears that they are in the business of getting busy. Good for you, Reese. And we're glad Jake is still on the market. [Gatecrasher]

  • Damn, Bethenny Frankel must have done something really bad to the other Real Housewives of New York! She could only get one of her castmates, boring old Alex McCord, to show up for her baby shower Saturday. The ladies were inexplicably taking pictures in front of a '64 Mustang convertible and dancing in the streets of the Meatpacking District. Nothing says "baby" quite like classic cars and cheesy nightspots. [Gatecrasher]

  • Now that Jesse James is in the doghouse thanks to his very public affair with tattooed stripper Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, his ex-wife, porn star Janine Lindemulder, filed papers to try to get partial custody of the couple's daughter. Right now James and Bullock have full custody, but Lindemulder—currently in a halfway house after being convicted of tax evasion—thinks Bullock will divorce James and that she'll have an in to get more time with her daughter. Wow, is Sandy B the only classy woman that James has ever been with? [TMZ]

  • It's a publicity ploy that has gotten way too popular these days, and we just can't help ourselves from taking the bait. Porn empire Vivid Entertainment has offered Octomom Nadya Suleman $460,000—the balance owed on her soon-to-be-foreclosed house—if she'll make a hardcore movie for the company. That sounds like a bargain to us, but does anyone really want to see that? [TMZ]

  • After Elin Woods found out about Tiger's dirty "sexts" she took the kids and headed to their yacht for the weekend—without him. She also probably didn't want to be around the drama of his two short interviews on ESPN and the Golf Channel. Her aquatic refuge is famously called "Privacy" and you can't blame the lady for wanting a little. [RadarOnline]

  • Sacha Baron Cohen and actress Isla Fisher got married in Paris over the weekend. Is this real or just some stunt for his new movie called Sacha Baron Cohen where he plays an actor named Sacha Baron Cohen who gets married and it all goes horribly wrong? God, he makes us so confused. [People]

  • Today in wonderful reality television news: no one wants to buy the new reality show Paris Hilton is shopping around about her soon-to-be engagement and wedding to boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. Also Heidi Montag says she is done with plastic surgery—at least for awhile. Sometimes the world can be such a kind place. [P6, NYDN]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin]