Dead Babies Don't Go to Kindergarten

In response (maybe?) to our breakthrough linkage of yuppie baby slings and poor smothered lifeless babies, government safety officials are recalling more than a million baby slings. God. As if Park Slope parents didn't have enough to deal with.

Parents who moved to the Upper West/ East Side just to get young Aidyn Jachary into a proper kindergarten are now being informed that their children are being wait-listed, due to "kindergarten overcrowding," a thing which exists. When will you breeders get the message? You can smother your baby in a baby sling or you can get it into a good kindergarten, but you can't do both.

[When we say "Park Slope parents," we mean everyone.]