We now know the yearly value of a dick joke: $20,800. A company owned by Jimmy Dolan, Cablevision CEO and new owner of Gothamist, has pulled a $400/week ad from the Village Voice after it joked about his penis.
Former Gawker Weekend Editor Foster Kamer has been busily blogging the Village Voice to financial ruin. (But dick joke immortality!) Remember how, earlier this week, he posed a rhetorical question re: Mr. Dolan's "cock" and Gothamist founder Jake Dobkin's "mouth"? (Hint: How would latter feel with former in it?) And then Cablevision sent the Voice a cease-and-desist-blogging-about-Jimmy-Dolan's-penis letter? And then the Voice posted the letter? In an apparent act of revenge, the Independent Film Center—which is owned by Cablevision's Rainbow Media—has pulled a $400/week ad from the pages of the Voice.
Kamer, who, if you think about it, just effectively increased his salary by over twenty grand, had this to say in an email:
I'd like to once again apologize to the salesperson whose commissions I totally fucked, and, uh...well, this is like that time I drove my college newspaper editor/roommate's Subaru into a dumpster. There's really no lesson to be learned becaus sometimes those dumpsters just kinda fuckin' jump out at you at 3AM, like POW, and all of the sudden, you find yourself saying, "Sorry Nan, sorry Rob. Your son's beautiful car got attacked by a dumpster, but you know I'm a broke college student, so that two grand return's gonna come slow." But it's not MY fault the dumpster attacked; I was just driving/doing my job. And I won't let one dumpster attack scare me off from doing it again. We must move forward. We must understand that the rapture of being alive sometimes involves the chaos of the universe.
Also: "Tony [Village Voice EIC Tony Ortega] said I could. Blame him."
We are not really sure what any of that means. But we do know math: If one Jimmy Dolan penis joke is worth $20,800 a year, then two Jimmy Dolan penis jokes is worth $41,600. So, without further ado, prepare to witness the Most Expensive Blog Post of All Time:
-Wanna catch an award-winning film at the Independent Film Center? It's called Jimmy Dolan's Cock
-How long is it?
Q: What is two inches long and has been seen by much of New York's media elite?
A: Foster Kamer's joke about Jimmy Dolan's Cock
I'll be here all night!