Today at Gawker.TV, Stephen Colbert wants to breed the elderly, Law & Order's version of Balloon Boy, an Army Engineer fakes it though Good Day New York's levee demonstration, and a time-line of fat guys with hot television wives.

Fat Guys with Hot Wives: A TV Timeline
In real life, fat guys never get the girl. Duh. But real life be damned! In TV land, anything is possible...including being a fat slob and still having a sexy and sometimes submissive wife. These are those lucky men.

Law and Order Sends Up Their Own Balloon Boy Spoof
Substitute the mylar balloon for a yellow dinghy and the quest for a reality show with an international custody battle and, voila! Law and Order's Boat Girl is born! Unfortunately for us, she never makes a gaffe on Larry King.

Stephen Colbert To Breed Senior Citizens In Captivity
Last night, Stephen revealed that hundreds of vultures had taken to hanging around a retirement community. To ensure the survival of The Olds, Stephen has captured two and is attempting to breed them so that they will birth more seniors.

Army Corps of Engineers Official Totally Okay With Peanut Butter Levee
John O'Connor of the US Army Corps of Engineers visited Good Day New York this morning to talk levee construction. If you'll recall, the Corps was responsible for the catastrophic failures of many levees in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.

Six Things I Found at the Found Footage Festival
If I told you there was a wonderful site that had a ridiculous amount of campy old videos from the 80s and 90s just begging for your perusal, you'd probably say "Well of course. That's YouTube. Where have you been?"