Balmain recently debuted a thousand-dollar shredded t-shirt, which got us thinking: How much money could you waste on a t-shirt, jeans, and a trash bag to schlep your empty wallet? Behold, the $15,500 homeless person outfit.

The Crappiest Outfit $15,500 Can Buy

  • T-Shirt: Balmain Slashed Army T-Shirt for $1,625 [Net-a-Porter]
  • Sweater: Rodarte for Men (Brodarte) Crewneck Sweater for $2,760 is the one Rivers Cuomo was wearing about when he sang, "Hold this thread as I walk away / Watch me unravel I'll soon be naked." [OpeningCeremony]
  • Jacket: Balmain Destroyed Metal Mash Shirt for $5,817.60 [LuisaViaRoma]
  • Jeans: After much deliberation, I've decided to skip these $250,000 diamond-bedazzled jeans because they're more of a stunt item. Instead, here are the easily purchasable (depending on your credit limit) Mastermind Japan Distressed Jeans with Embroidery for $2,289 [Farfetch]
  • Bag: Garbage Bag by Louis Vuitton, A.K.A. the Louis Vuitton Raindrop Besace Purse for $1,996 [Luxist]
  • Shoes: The world is full of hideous "distressed" shoes, like these splotchily barfed-upon McQueen peep-toes or faded denim D&G booties. But for this outfit, I have settled on Maison Martin Margiela's Peep-Toe "Wrinkled Bag" Ankle Boots for $995, because they actually look like scrunched-up garbage bags. [Saks]
Other things you could do with $15,482.60: