The Way We Live Now: Under fate's cruelly oversized thumb. How long must we be expected to do expensive things for free? Where is our reward for being rich? Or for being poor? Fuck heaven, pay me.
It's true what they always say: "It doesn't pay to be poor." Hahahaha. You will appreciate the pithiness of that particular remark as we go on to inform you that NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg has reluctantly announced that the city will no longer pay poor people for "things like going to the dentist ($100) or holding down a full-time job ($150 per month)." How about instead paying middle-class Republicans for these same things, Bloomberg? Pilot program! Dentist cash! Job bonus! Poor performance! It will totally fuck with their heads and maybe then poor people can steal from them.
But the "powers that be" tend to fear "not in the box" thinking such as this. Let me give you a psychological peek inside the thought process of these very same rich wealthy whatever power people who are bringing down this country: "Twaddle dee dee, boop dee bum, let us take money from children and purchase ourselves $550 office chairs." And friends, that is exactly what happened. Straight from the mouth of facts.
Is this, we ask you, what leadership is made out of? Fancy chairs that we don't even know about and middle fingers for the dental hygiene of the poor? Is this simultaneous oooohing (as in "Fuck Yoooo, poors") and ahhhhhing (as in "Get out of mahhh expensive office chair, poors") really the reason we named a billionaire as our mayor for life? Why has our wealthy overlord not hit on the all-in-one solution to our myriad challenges?
Give poor people fancy office chairs, PROBLEM SOLVED.