People keep asking us if we've seen this Times article about up-and-coming young bloggers. Yes, we are a young blogger, of course we have seen it. So what. Wait... you don't actually think we're jealous?
So our Mom calls us up today all, "Did you read that thing about 'the rising stars of gossip blogs' in the Times?" And we thought, that's funny, we don't remember being interviewed for any article. Turns out this is because we weren't even it!
"That nice girl, [Gawker Weekend Editor] Maureen O'Connor was in it. Why weren't YOU in it," says Mom. Yeah, that's cool. They talked about her Peter Orzsag toupee investigation. Good job, Maureen! But, Mom, it's an article in a newspaper. Nobody cares about newspapers anymore. Didn't you read the article?
Mom says, "Hey, look. Foster Kamer and Maureen are both 25, just like you. So is Fashionologie editor Tommye Fitzpatrick. That Curbed editor is only 24!" OK, Mom. We get it. Look, we actually were quoted in Foster's blurb, talking about his famous penis joke. So go tell all your friends our name is in the New York Times. Whatever. Did you see that hilarious picture, though? It's like something Wesleyan would send out to high school juniors. Except that Erin Carlson. She looks nice, I guess.
Mom: "You should ask her out on a date!" Sure, yeah. But, Mom. They called them "gossip bloggers!" It's like, what is this, Sex in the City? Even the article says, "the lines between 'reporter' and 'blogger,' 'gossip' and 'news' have blurred almost beyond distinction." Nobody calls us 'gossip bloggers' except the New York Times, like they need to point out that we're basically over-sharey college students writ large. And apparently every young media person in New York now dreams of "making it as a blogger." You know that we never dreamed of being a gossip blogger: We want to write for TV! Imagine if we were in the article and Jon Stewart read it. He would be like, Well, we were going to offer this kid a job at The Daily Show but it looks like he's already achieved his life's dream by becoming an editor at Gawker.
"These are all excellent points," Says Mom. "I guess it's a good thing you weren't in the New York Times Top Nine bloggers of 2010 list." Great. Now can we go back to sleep? It's almost noon and we have to be up in six hours.
"You're sure you're not even a little jealous?" Mom asks. No, mom. Goodbye.
And then we wept ourselves to sleep, waking just as darkness fell. Another day, another night shift for America's Next Top Gossip Blogger.