Don't Forget to Mail In Your Census, Unless You Live in TexasS

Happy Census Day! The government hopes you've already sent in your 2010 census form. (Census Day should've been before the due date though, right?) Even the president had to. But some people are scared of getting counted by the government.

Look, here is Barack Obama filling out his census with one of the government takeover pens that he uses to bail out banks, nationalize automakers, and kill grandma. It is a pretty stupid photo-op, actually—everyone knows how many people live in his household, and honestly Michelle could've filled this out instead of wasting ten valuable minutes of the president's time—time he could've spent sending unnamed drones out to kill civilians or pointlessly drilling for minuscule amounts of oil off the coast of Virginia.

But the president is doing this himself in order to convince people not to be scared of the government doing something with everyone's name and address and race. And it is kind of working!

Recent Hispanic immigrants are totally not afraid of the census, though US-born Hispanics still are quite scared of it. Which is odd, because the US-born Hispanics do not actually have to worry about the data being shared with immigration authorities? Oh, but the campaign to convince Hispanic people to fill out the census involved a lot of advertising on Spanish-speaking TV stations that immigrants watch more than American-born people.

Anyway, the other people who are not very good at filling out their censuses are white people who got scared by Michele Bachmann. This is wonderful, because usually white people in conservative districts do a much better job of getting counted by the government than immigrants, minorities, poor people, etc. And then they get more congressional representation. (If Minnesota loses a congressional seat because of undercounting, it would most likely be Michele Bachmann's. But her fearmongering is working much better in Texas than at home in Minnesota, because even though they voted for that psychopath, Minnesotans are still pathologically responsible and respectful of authority.)

But if we are so good at figuring out how many people didn't fill out the census than why do we need a census, hmm? Oh, right to round up the patriots and send them to "Freedom Camps."