Was it Sandy or was it Jesse? Or were they just getting rid of a couch? Maybe it's because Jesse got a mistress pregnant. Peaches Geldof goes "glassy-eyed," Ivanka's stalker used to stalk Tucker Max. Saturday gossip is moving on.

  • Sirens! We need sirens! And so does Sandra Bullock, because a moving van was spotted at the Bullock-James manor, and how could they get it out of that paparazzi clusterfuck without the aid of sirens? "The van pulled up around 6:45PM and stayed for about an hour. Two movers moved out a couch, a love seat, and a ton of boxes." Might it have been a "Bombshell" McGee sexed-upon couch? Might they have been boxes of Nazi paraphernalia? "Jesse's mom's car was parked out at the house for most of the day." The plot thickens. [TMZ]

  • In other Jesse James rumor mill news, "Jesse got a mistress pregnant. Jesse knew about it." The woman either aborted or miscarried, no word which mistress it was, or whether Sandy knew. [DailyMail]

  • Meanwhile, Michelle "Bombshell"—the mistress whose nickname requires scare quotes—is back to working the pole, and San Diego's Pure Platinum Gentleman's Club where the sign now advertises MICHELLE BOMBSHELL HERE. This is supposed to be good for business. [TMZ]

  • Woody Allen performed jazz clarinet in the Tuscan hometown of Le Cirque restauranteur Sirio Maccioni, who sent him a bottle of fine wine. This is all too cultured for me. Must find a trainwreck celebutante chaser... [P6]

  • Here we go: "Why can't 'Saint' Bob Geldof save daughter Peaches from herself?" A "glassy-eyed" and "slurring" Peaches was "hitching up her top to display one of her 20 or so tattoos to a complete stranger" at Hollywood club Bardot. That's the same way the Big Ben naked picture story begins. Look out, Peaches! [DailyMail]

  • Erykah Badu's naked video shoot earned her a disorderly conduct charge after some prude Texas lady filed an indecency complaint. Now Erykah owes the Dallas Police Department a $500 fine. If you didn't see it, here are the naked Erykah Badu pictures. She crawled around naked on the sidewalk in the plaza where JFK was assassinated. [TMZ, TMZ]

  • Ever wanted to see a Big Lebowski porn parody? No? Don't click this. [TMZ]

  • Erin Andrews' stalkers are terrifying. "Somebody should shoot her in the face," said one threatening email. "I'm one in a million. She'll never see me coming," said another. Is it the same crazy guy who did the peephole thing? Apparently Erin is "not the type to be easily threatened," which is impressive, because if it were me I'd hide in my house and never come out. Her crazies are really awful. [NYDN]

  • Speaking of stalkers, Ivanka Trump's used to stalk Tucker Max. Guy has weird taste in victims. [NYDN]

  • Tia Carrere is getting a divorce. This article says she's 43, which is insane, because in the accompanying photo she looks at least one decade younger than that, if not two. [People]
Someone Moved Out of the Bullock-James Manor
  • The revelation that Anna Paquin is bisexual took down wegiveadamn.org, the website where she revealed it, because everyone wanted to see the sexy, gap-toothed vampire actress talk about gay rights sex. [NYDN]

  • Joe Jonas and Selena Gomez broke up again. Young love: Fleeting. More fleeting, even, than old love. [NYDN]