Tiger Woods, and his Bodyguards, Return to Golf

Tiger Woods was looking at the correct end of a golf club today, on a practice round for the US Masters at Augusta, for the first time since he was outed as a serial cheat. The media circus went along.

The Associated Press report that a press conference at 2pm tomorrow is so over-subscribed that each outlet is limited to one reporter. (We predict now: he will precisely repeat his talking points from two, incredibly dull, five-minute interviews he recently did with golf networks.)

He showed up today, unexpectedly, to practice for the tournament which starts on Tuesday. Woods hit some balls and saw players he hasn't seen since he drove his car into a fire hydrant on November 27th while apparently being chased by his wife, wielding a golf club. And you know, subsequently being outed as having slept with (approximately) 327 women and sending some actually quite filthy and degrading sexts.

Because it's golf, and he's the main reason the sport makes lots of money, he's being treated with kid gloves. His fellow golfers are all literally and metaphorically embracing him. During the tournament he'll have, according to the Daily News, about 90 bodyguards, each outfitted with pictures of the women he boffed in case any try to approach him and ruin his PR strategy.

He seems to be following a similar media plan to one the New Yorker's John Cassidy outlined for him just after the scandal broke. If he carries on with it, expect a big, repentant post-Masters interview with Barbara Walters or Oprah or some other softball interviewer (ie any of them).

There is no word on whether Elin will be watching him play. Or whether his first swing in anger will be as meaningful as hers last November.