The Real Housewives of New York Are Horrible Mothers and Other Allegations

Alex McCord drank while pregnant. Bethenny Frankel found a maternity bikini. Sandy B is def divorcing Jesse James. Coca-cola killed Michael Jackson somehow. Simon Cowell's wedding will be a giant publicity stunt. Monday's gossip was sent to bed without supper.

  • Real Housewife of New York Alex McCord freaked out when Countess Crackerjacks and Celebrity Intern Jill Zarin told a silly story about her kid crawling up some poor man's leg, how is she going to react once the world gets a look inside her awful parenting secrets. Supposedly her upcoming parenting book Little Kids Big City: Tales From A Real House In New York City says that she drank alcohol while pregnant and once brought her newborn son out to drinks at a fancy restaurant with her husband. People are also criticizing her and husband Simon Van Kempen from going out way too much to envelope openings and not spending enough time with their children Wingding and Thingamajig. Oh, Alex, you crazy preying mantis. Did you think that people were going to understand your crazy ways if you put them in a book? [Gatecrasher]

  • Let's hope that Alex's cast mates don't take her advice too seriously, especially Bethenny Frankel who is on her honeymoon in St. Bart's and is showing off her big ol' pregnant belly for everyone by wearing a bikini on the beach. At least she's still not wearing that track suit she got married in. [TMZ]

  • The Jesse James perp walk continues, and he is mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. He apparently barged out of sex rehab in Arizona on Sunday after Sandra Bullock wouldn't take his phone call. He might be pissed because his prenup with Sandy B says that if he cheats he doesn't get a dime of the vast piles she earned playing sassy white ladies and deranged lunatics who stalk Bradley Cooper. We'll be able to find out whether or not that's true soon, because Ms. Bullock is supposedly having the divorce papers drawn up right this very second. It would probably make us love Sandy even more if she cut him off completely and hung him out to dry with his career ruined. Do not mess with this lady! [Radar Online, more Radar Online, even more Radar Online]

  • While we're talking about going down in flames just like Jesse James, his mistress Michelle "Bombshell" McGee isn't feeling the love from Hailey Glassman. It seems that James' tattooed love toy is going to be the referee in Jon Gosselin's ex's upcoming "celebrity" boxing match, and she's pissed about it. With all the rumors about McGee being a neo-Nazi, the Jewish Glassman has got her pugilistic panties all in a bunch. She says that McGee, "stands for trash." Wow! We're just surprised it took Hailey this long to find someone lower on the garbage pile than her. [yes, Radar Online again]

  • Just like Mikey, the little kid from the Life cereal commercials, Michael Jackson died from eating Pop Rocks and drinking Coca-Cola. Well, not really, but the defense team for Dr. Conrad Murray, the physician on trial for the wrongful death of the pop star, is saying that the King of Pop was so addicted to Coke that he was the King of, you know, Pop. He would drink bottles upon bottles of the beverage, get all hopped up on caffeine, and then use drugs—like the substance Propofol, that lead to his death—to get to sleep. The medical man's lawyers are trying to claim that Jackson was a crazy celebrity who wanted insane things from the people who worked for him and that his death was caused by an extra dose of Propofol he administered himself. Come on, there's not a jury in the world that's going to think that they guy who changed his skin color, lived with a chimp, had disfiguring plastic surgery, bought the bones of the Elephant Man, and lived in an amusement park was crazy! [TMZ]

  • Apparently Simon Cowell is going to wait until next year to have a big splashy wedding to former American Idol makeup artist Mehgan Hussainy. Why? So that Simon can capitalize on all the positive PR from the union to help push the launch American version of his show The X Factor. Crafty. [NY Post]

  • For everyone who missed Li'l Wayne while he's in jail, he's now sending letters from prison to his fans. No, not on paper, on his blog. Wonder if there's a way to bake a file into an email? [E! Online]

  • Former New York Giant and current Today show correspondent Tiki Barber and his wife are splitting up. It is not because he cheated on her with a long line of skanky women, which just makes this news sad and boring in comparison to everything else that's happening these days. [P6

  • Gossip dowager Cindy Adams is back from her week off in Massachusetts, and starts off with a column today about how Connecticut is this gigantic rural backwater and that driving through it takes eons. Yes, Cindy, we're all city girls, but the 90 minutes it takes to drive through our wonderful neighbor to the Northwest is hardly bad enough for you to call it "Wasilla." Even worse, the great citizens of Connecticut are pissed that you just called them a red state! [Cindy Adams]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin]