Jamie Foxx Is Not Gay Because He Eats Pizza in the Shower

After recent rumormongering by Howard Stern that implied that Jamie Foxx might be gay, the singing actor took to the radio to explain how straight he is. It has something to do with pizzas and showers.

We don't quite get how this works, but here is Jamie's response from his own Sirius radio channel, the FoxxHole: "I'm not gay...A lot of people say that I'm gay and that doesn't bother me, because I could eat a pizza in a male shower and not feel anything because I'm secure with myself," he says.

Um, say what? If you can eat a pizza in a shower and not feel anything, then you are straight. Why would you want to eat a pizza in the shower in the first place? Wouldn't it get all wet and soggy and nasty and then the cheese would slide off and clog up the drain and it would be a mess? Anyway, in the interest of science, we gave Gawker editor Richard Lawson a slice, and he was so gay that he couldn't even get in the shower with it. Apparently Jamie Foxx has uncovered a strange scientific fact. Pizza + Shower = Straight. Thanks, Jamie.

[Image via Getty]