Obama, King of the Haitian Post-Apocalypse

In the aftermath of Haiti's devastating earthquake, Obama has emerged as a leading criminal figure and "menacing underworld force" controlling a "robbery empire," reports The Washington Post. No, no, not President Obama—Haitian Gang Lord Kidnapper Obama.

The Haitian Obama, who used to go by the name Ti Wilson, is one of several thousand prisoners who escaped from Haiti's National Penitentiary in the wake of January's quake. According to the Post's sources, "Obama" controls a "kidnapping and robbery empire," and has knocked off rival gang members, and former police officers, with impunity. So, on balance, he is pretty similar to the President, just more criminal, and less democratically elected to the most powerful position on the planet.

Most of his fellow escapees are also still at large:

On that afternoon, while tens of thousands of Haitians were being crushed to death, Wilson and more than 4,500 other inmates slipped out of a wing of the National Penitentiary known as the "Titanic." Since then, Haitian and international police say, the most notorious of the escapees have begun terrorizing neighborhoods, stolen aid supplies and fought ever more pitched battles among themselves that threaten the stability of a fragile society still far from recovering from one of the worst disasters in recent memory.

"Obama" sleeps in a different place every night, and the group tasked with hunting him down, hampered by the loss of records in a prison fire, doesn't even have a picture of the guy. According to the Post, he took the Obama name "presumably as a symbol of power," and also because he is hoping to pass a comprehensive health-care law, right after all the kidnappings.

So, things in Haiti: Not great, but at least the awful escaped convicts have names that Americans find amusing. [WaPo]