The Weekly Standard Finds Another Lame Analogy to Describe DemocratsS

Last month, the magazine's in-house prick Bill Kristol used Napoleon to describe Obama's health care victory. Now it's Gary Andres, who compares the Democratic Party to a tainted Tylenol of the 1980s. Who is tampering with the Democrats' package?

Well, if the right-leaning — and paid consultant on the Bush 2004 campaign — Scott Rasmussen's Rasmussen Reports are to be believed, then it's those nasty little Democrats themselves. Political suicide by cyanide-laced Tylenol! From The Weekly Standard:

A Rasmussen survey in November of 2008 found voters trusted the Democratic Party on 9 out of 10 issues (and tied on one — national security). About sixteen months later, the most recent Rasmussen poll shows almost a complete reversal, with Republicans now trusted on 9 out of the 10 same issues."

Wait a second. Tea Partiers don't even trust the Republican Party. To be fair, people don't trust Dems these days either, but to imply that Republicans are some bright beacon of Freedom in the middle of a dark national catastrophe? Give me a fucking break.

Political branding, however, is a tricky business. Democrats may find it difficult – or even impossible – to reverse their brand degradation before November for a few reasons."

First, opponents won't relent. Tylenol needed to take steps to dig out of its hole, but the company didn't confront a constant barrage of commercial criticism from its competitors."

You're absolutely right. The Obama Administration really needs get down to business and take questions like "is Barack Obama really a Muslim, Stalinist, bourgeois anti-Christ?" seriously. Seriously?

Second, social science research shows Americans tend to engage a fragmented media culture by following outlets that reinforce their previously held beliefs."

No shit. And you need science to back this up? Why don't we just agree to ship Keith Olbermann and Glenn Beck off somewhere and call it even?

Third, factors beyond a party's control also shape its brand."

Like, say, Rush Limbaugh?

Finally, it's difficult to control party outliers. Tylenol could slap a new label on its familiar red box and mass produce millions of identical copies."

You're right again. Kind of like the perception that all Republicans are angry, old, gun-toting white men? How does the old saying go... you can't polish a steaming pile of shit? Something like that.

Political brands are tough to manage."

Right on. Just ask Michael Steele.

[Image via Getty ]