As a high schooler, Caroline Giuliani's Facebook endorsement of Obama delighted Democrats and embarrassed her estranged father, Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani. Now little Caroline is all grown up and starring in bizarre YouTube soap operas with her Harvard friends.
Ivory Tower airs on Harvard's student TV channel and co-stars Caroline Giuliani as a foul-mouthed version of Dawson's Creek's Joey. She feigns drunkenness, banters about dickholes, and pantomimes having a penis. Here are this year's three episodes, with summaries.
EPISODE 1: Caroline plays the tomboyish platonic best friend of protagonist Rob Foster, who just got back from study abroad and is horrified to discover the hot girl he used to bang is dating his nemesis, who, in the intervening semester, has become a famous movie star. Caroline is in love with Rob, but he treats her like a burping, farting bro. Notable Giuliani Moment: Caroline chugs two flasks in rapid succession when everyone starts making out at a dorm party and she is alone. (Channeling Rudy Giuliani abandonment issues?) Warning: The following videos are undergrad student films. Watch only if you have a strong stomach for awkwardness.
EPISODE 2: Caroline gets sassy in a Law & Order shirt. (Homesick for Rudy "Tough on Crime" Giuliani?) Rob Foster's movie star nemesis smears—is that poop?—all over Rob's face, and then Rob humiliates himself trying to make a funny video for YouTube, a premise that cuts a little close to the bone. Notable Giuliani Moment: Caroline speaks the poetry of her soul: "I have something to tell you. When you were gone, I missed you, but not, like, um, I guess, I mean to say, I felt things? Like, like, feelings."
EPISODE 3: Caroline and some frat guys teach Rob to be a preppy slimeball, because that's what Hot Girl wants in a man. Have I mentioned how Caroline's nickname for Rob is "dickhole"? I'd stop watching, but Hot Girl took her shirt off and I keep thinking Caroline might, too. Notable Giuliani Moment: Caroline pantomimes having a penis and screams, "Suck on this!"