Sandra Has Custody of Jesse James' Children, and Other Tales of Hope

Between Jesse's epic custody battle and this, they've had a tumultuous year. Lindsay Lohan parties with Mischa Barton, whose ex calls her a plus-sized heifer. Two public make-outs. One scorched-earth email. Five Jesse James mistresses. TGIFriday gossip.

  • Tragic ragamuffin child Sunny James has been saved! Sandra Bullock is reportedly in custody of Jesse James' three children, Sunny, Chandler, and Jesse Jr. (Aren't they both technically "juniors"?) The kids' biological mother lost custody to Jesse and Sandra, but now that Jesse is in rehab and the Bullock-James marriage is in jeopardy, Sandra's role in the kids' lives was unclear, especially after sad little Sunny was photographed dragging a skein of yarn out of the Bullock-James manor on the day her father reportedly moved out. [TMZ, pic via Pacific Coast News]

  • Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton "drowned their sorrows" at Nylon's 11th anniversary party. Mischa got in a public fight with ex-boyfriend and oil heir Brandon Davis, who retaliated by tweeting, "Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fatest people in the planet. I'm gonna start dating plus size models. Not! Mischa the Hefer. [sic]" LiLo suffered from generalized woes, like her dad getting engaged to her former assistant, Kate Major. [Gatecrasher]

  • Also at the Nylon party: LA Ink star Kat Von D and Jackass star Bam Margera "were practically swallowing each other. They were right by the deejay booth, licking each other." Here's a picture of them afterwards. Kat looks bashful—maybe because Bam is technically still married? [P6, pic via Splash]
  • Sandra Has Custody of Jesse James' Children, and Other Tales of Hope
  • Christina Aguilera doesn't want her new single to be compared to Lady Gaga. Asked about the inevitable comparison, Christina's songwriter said, "That's crap to me... It's really bullshit. Christina Aguilera has been around for over ten years now. As far as pop goes, she is the defining voice of today's music. She can do things with her voice that I haven't heard anybody else do." Staking Xtina's relevance on the stuff she did ten years ago may not be the wisest idea. Remember when she used phonetics to sing literal Spanish translations of all her songs? [Vibe]

  • Will the parade of Jesse James mistresses never end? #5 says Jesse paid her rent and had a "full-on relationship" with her. Get in line, lady. [Radar]

  • This article about Tiger Woods porno mistress Joslyn James' Masters-themed strip club routine is ridiculous: "James, with luminous skin and long, wavy auburn locks, has a fantasy body usually found only in superhero comics. Juicy Fruit-thin torso and thoroughbred legs with prize-pumpkin breasts impossibly cantilevering over it all." Isn't it annoying when the metaphors aren't proportionate to one another? Messes up the mental image. [NYDN]

  • Actress Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon's CAA agent husband was dicking around, so Garcelle sent an email to a zillion people, and they forwarded it to a zillion more people, and now everyone knows: "I found out today that MY husband of almost yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!!" The subject line was "Tiger Woods/Jesse James/Mike Nilon." [P6]

  • Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne sucked face in public in a car, just like high school. [TMZ]