Used to be rappers rode around in bulletproof limos, firing guns at musical competitors, singing about killing cops. Then gangsta rapper Ice-T performed a Twitter "drive-by" on a folksy soft rock singer. Introducing the new rules of celebrity warfare.


Rule #1: Do not get in a Twitter fight with the man who invented the phrase "original gangsta." You may think you hold an advantage in a war of words. You are wrong.



Rule #2: Do not get in a Twitter fight with a person whose followers consider themselves an organized army, as Ice-T's Final Level Twitter Gang does. (see also: Tila's Army, Stan Lee's Brigadiers) The army will harass you. The leader's aggressiveness will kind of freak you out.

Advertisement



Rule #3: Don't dish it if you can't take it.



Rule #4: Ice-T will win. He always wins. He will end you and then he will catch your rapist and the music will go dun-dun! and Law will be followed by Order. He will go home to his impossibly curvy glamourpuss wife Coco and run his fingers through piles of gold coins and gloat.

Sponsored



Rule #5: You will react with a muffled, snot-sopped sob, cover your tear-streaked face with your hands, and run in the other direction.



Rule #6: Winner gets to tweet a press release.