Williamsburg 'Too Cool' to Fill Out Census

There are many reasons you might not fill out your census form: distrust of the government; questionable immigration status; illiteracy. The "young, recent graduates with ironic mustaches" of Williamsburg have apparently pioneered a new one: Being "too cool".

That's the takeaway of NPR's Robert Smith's report from Williamsburg, which has only a 30 percent census return rate, compared to 50 percent city-wide. Smith spoke to one census slacker, Nate Stark, outside of a record store.

Mr. STARK: I guess it's laziness and like, what's the point? When it comes down to it, nobody wants to fill out like another form that's just like getting sent to your house that really relatively has nothing to do with your life.

SMITH: He thinks the young people just haven't been given a good enough reason to fill out the census.

Mr. STARK: I mean people would do if they got like five bucks.

SMITH: Five bucks?

Here is our suggestion: The census brand way too available to be "cool". What if, instead of sending them to everyone's houses, the forms were available only in select independent record stores... in Norway? And they cost $100 dollars? Guaranteed we'd start reading Thursday Style pieces about the coke-filled underground census-filling-out parties sweeping the more fauxhemian parts of our city. Dude, we're gonna fill out some cennies Saturday.