Sarah Palin's Speaking Contract: Bendy Straws, Lear Jets and Deluxe HotelsS

Meddling college students from California State University, Stanislaus dug the hospitality rider for Sarah Palin's upcoming speech at the college out of the trash. Good job, students! Now we learn Sarah Palin likes to drink America's milkshake with bendable straws.

The contract was in a dumpster awaiting shredding when Ashli Briggs, Alicia Lewis and some of their friends at CS rescued it. Here are the most notable and funniest parts:

1) Sarah Palin is scared of real questions from real America. Audience questions must be pre-screened: ""For Q&A, the questions are to be collected from the audience in advance, pre-screened and a designated representative... shall ask questions directly of the Speaker."

2) Palin needs two bottles of water near her lectern. And "bendable straws are to be placed in or near the wooden lectern." Presumably for drinking the water, but they could also be used to illustrate vividly the horns of the devil as he congratulates Obama on Obamacare.

3) Like much of America, Palin likes to be transported in large vehicles: If she's not being flown first class commercial from Anchorage, "the private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger." As for ground transportation: "transportation will be by SUV(s) from a professionally licensed and insured car service. If SUV(s) are not available, black town cars may be substituted"

4) Sarah Palin needs three hotel rooms: "A pre-registered one-bedroom suite and two single rooms in a deluxe hotel." One of those hotel rooms is just for her folksy sayings. Another is for if she needs to personally apply advanced interrogation techniques to any terrorists she comes across.

5) No word on the fee, though. Palin has been known to make $100,000 for a speaking engagement; CSU reportedly paid her $75,000. (That's $75,001.99 if you factor in the bendy straws.)

Nothing too rock-star going on here, really. But, bendy straws! Is America ready for a president whose straws must be articulated?

Update: Radar is reporting that California Attorney General Jerry Brown has launched an investigation into Sarah Palin's CSU Stanislaus visit. Brown is concerned over the fact that it took a bunch of students digging through the trash to reveal even the slightest bit of detail regarding the financial arrangements behind Palin's visit.

This is not about Sarah Palin," Brown said. "She has every right to speak at a university event, and schools should strive to bring to campus a broad range of speakers. The issues are public disclosure and financial accountability in organizations embedded in state-run universities.

Here's the full contract (Click to enlarge.)

Sarah Palin's Speaking Contract: Bendy Straws, Lear Jets and Deluxe HotelsS

Sarah Palin's Speaking Contract: Bendy Straws, Lear Jets and Deluxe HotelsS

Sarah Palin's Speaking Contract: Bendy Straws, Lear Jets and Deluxe HotelsS

Sarah Palin's Speaking Contract: Bendy Straws, Lear Jets and Deluxe HotelsS

Sarah Palin's Speaking Contract: Bendy Straws, Lear Jets and Deluxe HotelsS