Which celeb has Cammie been sneaking around with? Why is Charlie Sheen wearing a disguise to have an affair? Is Madonna really sending the kids to public school? How much did Eliot Spitzer spend on hookers? Wednesday's gossip is puzzled.

  • Who is Cameron Diaz's secret new boyfriend? It's Yankee's heavy-hitter Alex Rodriguez! Apparently they were all over each other at a Super Bowl party back in February and they have been hanging out and having secret hookups ever since. Supposedly Rodriguez recently flew Cameron to Miami so that they two of them could have some time together away from the cameras. It's so sweet that he did that, because there is no way that Cameron could have afforded to fly there on her own. No way. All these ladies want is a man to pay their automobills. [Life & Style]
  • It is completely unsurprising that Charlie Sheen is having an affair. Not only is that painfully rote, but he's stepping out with a lingerie model who may be a paid escort. Isn't that as plain as the fake mustache on his face? Now that is the silly part. Apparently he's wearing a disguise to meet his lady friend so that he won't get caught by his wife, Brooke Mueller, the paparazzi, or his counselors for sex addiction. Oh, Charlie. Haven't you ever learned a single lesson about women in your whole damn life? [Popeater, RadarOnline]
  • Lots of Madonna news today! Apparently she had a $75,000 cellulite removal machine installed in her home. She also apparently doesn't know what Glee is and turned down an offer to appear on their all-Madonna episode next week. A friend of hers says, "To be honest, she would rather they sing an Elton John song than butcher one of hers." Ouch. Well, maybe she shouldn't be spending all this money and turning down gigs, because apparently she's so poor that she's going to send the kids to public school. There are reports that oldest daughter Lourdes, 16, will be attending LaGuardia High School for the Performing Arts, better known as the Fame school. Neither Madonna's reps or people from the school will confirm, but it seems like students at the school have been gossip about it already. It's said Lourdes will major in drama. We have a feeling she already knows a thing or two about it.
    [Mail Online, Popeater, NYDN]
  • Elliot Spitzer spent $100K on hookers, and he'll be paying for it for the rest of his life. A new article in Fortune magazine has that figure and some interviews with the lovely ladies who did the servicing. It appears that Spitzer was a very eager and selfish lover who didn't care to make the ladies feel pretty and special. Why should he bother doing that when he has a wife at home? [P6, Fortune]
  • Jake Gyllenhaal says that he is OK with being single after his split from Reese Witherspoon. No, Jake, it is not OK. You need to be with someone so that we can imagine you being happy and making sweet, sweet love. "It goes in either direction. I think it's important for every man to find the right woman and every woman to find the right man," he tells GQ. What about a man finding the right man? How's that direction sound? Huh, Jakey-poo? [NYDN]
  • Monday night, while Saturday Night Live cast members were calling Darrell Hammond a "visionary" and a "genius" at a panel discussion, the star was on stage for amateur night at Caroline's comedy club in Midtown. He was joking that he had a root canal early that day and was hopped up on Vicodin. He was wearing sweatpants and a baseball cap and advising everyone in the audience to try the hillbilly heroin the first chance they got. Is this real life, or just a bit? Maybe a little bit of both? [Gatecrasher]
  • In more Gossip Girl relationship drama, it seems that Leighton Meester is now sleeping with Twilight star Robert Pattinson. You better watch out, Blair. If you mess with him you're going to piss off all the tween girls, and then the only people who will watch your show are 30-year-old gays. [Daily Telegraph]
  • Some people are outraged that the Jersey Shore boys are walking around Miami without their shirts on. What? Are these the same people that are surprised that Charlie Sheen is having an affair with a lingerie model escort? [RadarOnline]

[Image via INF]