Vogue's main geigh had more interesting metaphors than ever last night, solidifying his reputation as the greatest thing on America's Next Top Model. Also, a groundbreaking detente and an update on my invitation to take ALT to lunch.

Outfit: This week's tent-like structure was black over a white shirt. Clean and classically deranged.

Accessory: Just a double-stranded silver chain. Yes, people, apparently André does know how to do subtle.


Education: The French lessons continue. Tyra earned some extra credit this week by speaking some dialogue en français.

Agreeableness: Behold, an historic treaty has been reached and the war between André and a noted fashion photographer has ended. They agreed multiple times about one girl's photo. However, while trying to praise her, they still had to have a competition to see who could conjure up the most colorful adjective to describe her performance. Naturally André continued to ignore the guest judge. After all it was Anne Shoket who works at some little pamphlet that isn't Vogue.


Uses of Dreckitude: Only one and in the new form "Dreck-halla" which appears to be the supreme level of dreck hell wherein the souls of vikings killed dishonorably go to drink mead and watch runway shows for all of eternity.

Grade: While not nearly as colorful as last week, he has started to exhibit a Tyra Banks-esque demeanor where he goes from classy and "high fashion" one minute to totally ghetto hoodrat the next. We don't know if Tyra learned this trick from André or if she is a bad influence on him and dragging him down. Still he was getting along well with a noted fashion photographer and looking luminescent in a simple fashion concoction. (B-)

André, your grades are slipping, which means you need a parent-teacher conference more than ever. Sadly, I didn't hear anything back from ALT last week after inviting him to lunch to discuss his judging technique. But we're here to help you! We're ready for lunch whenever you are.