Today in #tips, cocktail bitters are back, Apple patents 3D glasses, a health-care CEO mints $100 million, a stash of panties is discovered, Eli Roth in the buff, and more.
Senor Flandangles knows why you keep losing thongs after a wash: they were stolen by a Michigan State University student, later found to have amassed a personal collection of 79 stealthily procured panties. The kid's defense? Everyone's doing it! God, he was only holding onto them for a friend! Get off his case!
DearBrutus brings joyful tidings: Rachel Maddow reports that America's great shortage of cocktail bitters, apparently the fault of a faulty bottler, is at an end. Now you can host that Madmen-themed dinner party you had to put off. What an original idea!
BullfightsOnAcid spots Apple's latest patent market grab, for a proposed set of 3D glasses already being called "iSpecs." In theory, the glasses would connect to your approved Apple product and beam iTunes-approved 3D into your brain via fancy eyeball imagery. We can't wait until they utilize the technology for personalized iAds and then we can all be like Tom Cruise in Minority Report.
DogsOfWar links to an impressive accomplishment: A 20-year old Brit, Laura Hall, has become the first to earn a "Drinking Banning Order" that bars her from drinking or buying alcohol anywhere in the Queen's country. "The DBO means Hall is not allowed in any pub, club, off-licence or bar in England and Wales for the next two years. She is also banned from buying booze—or having alcohol in an unsealed container or drinking in any public place. And she must attend an alcohol-misuse course." Hall's "run of alcohol-related public order offences" must be truly spectacular in a land where wild binge-drinking stereotypes aren't just par for the course but is the actual life course taken by most.
katsermonster points out the gross story of a gross man who used the gross defense "I'm not a friggin' homosexual" in an attempt to deny serious sexual assault charges. We believe his statement to be true, but we know some guys in Rome who would absolutely love him.
atlasfugged is on your Friday healthcare beat, with word that the CEO of Unitedhealthcare, Stephen J. Hemsley, made $100 million from exercising stock options last year. His compensation for 2009 was a paltry $8.2 million. A man's gotta eat.
GenderFenderBender makes life a little better with Chibi Lady Gaga.
GlasgowRose has the goods on Peaches Geldof's actor/director/heroin-bender-defender boyfriend Eli Roth. And by goods we do mean naked buttocks.
Have a wonderful weekend! And a binge-drink.
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