Celebrities: Inconvenienced by the Big Volcano!

If you thought that being a celebrity meant you were given some kind of gold-plated volcano-proof airplane, well boy, were you wrong. While Eyjafjallajokull traps little people in Europe's hellish social democracies, Whitney Houston is being burdened, too!

Stars: They're just like us. They shop for groceries like us. They pick up their kids at school like us. And they're massively inconvenienced by a huge cloud of ash covering Europe, just like us.

  • Whitney Houston, soon to be replaced by a chubby, bow tie-wearing, Taiwanese karaoke singer, took a three-hour ferry from England to Dublin to make sure she wouldn't disappoint her Irish fans, even though she is probably more likely to disappoint her Irish fans by showing up. [E!; pics via Getty, AP]

  • In what might be the biggest tragedy of all, Lou Dobbs will miss the opportunity to watch his daughter in some kind of horse-riding competition. Surely, this is the fault of Mexican immigrants! [NYP]

  • In what sounds like the basis for a zany comedy starring the Rock, several WWE wrestlers finishing up a European tour had to take a 17-hour bus-and-ferry trip from France to Ireland to ensure that they'd make it back in time for Monday Night's WWE Raw. [AP]

  • John Cleese spent £3,000 for three taxi drivers, working in shifts, to take him from Oslo to Brussels. "I'm not in a hurry," Cleese said. So maybe just... wait a couple days? [Daily Mail]

  • The Cribs, Frightened Rabbit and Bad Lieutenant all canceled their Coachella sets. No one noticed. Also, several dozen nerds were prevented from playing their violins together. [NYT]