VH1 Will No Longer Make the Worst Shows on Television

Are you a member of "Gen Mix?" Are you 25-34? Do you "acquire your sense of optimism and self-confidence from Millennials, and your strong sense of self and security from Gen Xers?" VH1 has a new line-up just for you.

For many years, VH1 has been the home to television's most awful reality series: The Bret Michaels-pimping Rock of Love, I Love Money and the show that helped fashion Tila Tequila into the thing she is, Surviving Nugent. VH1 has decided to change all that, and tonight the Hollywood Reporter is reporting that VH1 is unveiling 44 new, more-conventional series within three categories: "Music, celebrity, and 'real life stories.'" Notice that setting up people in situations one-degree away from outright prostitution is not included! The new series include "You're Cut Off!" about "spoiled party girls" and a new run of "Behind the Music," which kicks off with Christina Aguilera.

There is a pretty obvious reason why VH1 would make this shift: Their previous shows were designed expressly to show off the worst parts of human character. Someone realized that they had become pornographers of the soul, and finally became ashamed.

Nope! Instead, VH1 made up a whole new demographic, which then they said their new programming was targeting. It is called "Gen Mix," and you are probably part of it. According to the "Gen Mix Report" commissioned by VH1, Gen mixers straddle the line between Gen X and the Millenials. Most relevant for the advertisers VH1 is hoping to win with this move is the fact that Gen Mixers have no identity outside of the products they buy: "Purchases are a way to express personal identity," says the report, "and Gen Mix doesn't skimp on the products and brands that help them show the world who they are." Even better: Gen Mix bases their purchases solely on the whims of celebrities: "Gen Mixers love 'Celebing'. If their favorite celebrity makes a brand endorsement in an authentic way, they view it as a friend recommendation."

And so, what could have been a nice mea culpa for having made shitty reality shows which launched the careers of the kind of people who murder their spouse, has become a super cool move by VH1 to win over a brand new "purchase intensive consumer group" they invented.

On the other hand, maybe we should wait to see what Christina Aguilera has to say about all this