Gwyneth Paltrow Divorces Nicole Kidman and Other Strange Disasters

Gwyneth won't play Nicole's wife in a movie because Kidman dissed her. Lindsay Lohan is more than $500,000 in debt. Sandra Bullock is in trouble again. Jennifer Aniston is going to direct. Monday's gossip is a damsel in distress.

  • It seems like Nicole Kidman can't get anyone to play her wife in The Danish Girl, a film about Lili Elbe, the first person to undergo gender reassignment surgery and live as a woman, and the wife who stood by her. First Charlize Theron dropped out of the role opposite Kidman, who is set to play Elbe, and Gwyneth Paltrow stepped in. Now Gwyneth is out. She says it's because she just finished filming Love Don't Let Me Down in Nashville and wants more time with her husband and kids. But a source close to the situation says that, while in Nashville, Gwynny was bored and lonely and tried to get in touch with Nicole, who lives nearby with her country singing man lover, to hang out. Well, Nicole said no for whatever reason and that apparently pissed Gwynny off so much that she took her Goop and went home. Now she doesn't want to play with Nicole ever again. [Daily Mail]

  • Lindsay Lohan must be America's sweetheart because just like the rest of the country, she's feeling the credit crunch. She is supposedly $600,000 in debt. One credit card cut her off, one is about to, and another wants to set her up on a payment plan. And if she can't pay, they're going to sue. Celebrities: They're just like us! [RadarOnline]

  • As if Sandra Bullock doesn't have enough problems, now she has to give back her Razzie trophy for Worst Actress. She showed real class when she appeared to accept the honor just days before winning the Oscar for Best Actress (and weeks before her public shaming). She accidentally walked off with the original Razzie trophy, however, which is worth thousand of dollars, not one of the cheap knock-offs given to dishonorees each year. Jeez, Sandy B just can't catch a break. Knowing her, she'll return it with a condolence card and a small gift. [UK Telegraph]

  • Jennifer Aniston is going to direct a film. That sentence is pretty much a Freddie Kreuger nightmare come to life. [P6]

  • Jesse James' tattooed shame Michelle "Bombshell" McGee and Tiger Woods' hoochie Jamie Jungers have been asked to host Celebrity Cheaters a new reality show being shopped around that would catch famous people stepping out on their spouses. Each episode will feature a Charlie Sheen watch. [TMZ]

  • Speaking of Charlie Sheen, he really did shave his head. His rep says it's not because he's gone mad, but a ruse to fool photographers. Then why is he always wearing a hat in public? And what, other than acute madness, could explain the decision to wear what appears to be blue plaid pajama pants in public? [RadarOnline]

  • Publicity addict Annalynne McCord made out with her sister Angel after a beach volleyball game this weekend. Yes, they were wearing bikinis. Yes, we do have a porn that starts like this. No, she wouldn't have done it if there weren't cameras around. [TMZ]

  • Gossip dowager Cindy Adams gives us the breaking news about when and where Larry King has breakfast every single day with the same three friends. This is kind of like hearing your deranged aunt dish the scuttlebutt about the nursing home dining room. [Cindy Adams]

  • Marina Abramovic's exhibition at the MoMA is causing all sorts of sexy problems by having live nude models. Not only are patrons are touching them inappropriately, but the other day one of the male models had to be replaced because he got a boner while on duty. Hey, just because all those touches are inappropriate doesn't mean they aren't fun! [P6]

  • Oh thank god that Dune nightclub in the Hamptons will be open again this summer, despite rumors to the contrary. Yet, we find it odd that a club that boasts being Leonardo DiCaprio's favorite and banning the likes of Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan is being sponsored by Axe body spray. Isn't Axe way more Jonny G than Leo D? [Getty]